dear santa...

i usually hate xmas, but this year, could you please please please bring me tickets to see prodigy in milton keynes? i would be the happiest person on earth.

thanking you

lez

working lots is so tiring :( am starting to feel really tired and run down again from working loads :(

because of this, i keep putting off finishing my kitchen and starting my bedroom :/

i have finished my living room though! im very proud of it. it looks great if i do say so myself ;P a few little faults here and there but nothing major!

today i took a massive step towards solving my debt, and finally contacted citazens advice. lets see what happens :/ i may have to get an IVA, or apply to have some or all of it written off, which i doubt will happen, because this is me, and i have shit luck, and the world seems to want me to struggle forever.

very lucky i have a lovely boyfriend to cheer me up when things get on top of me now. if im having a bad day, i think twice now about doing stupid things, mainly because i wouldnt wanna upset him with my silly moods and stresses and upsets. im finding it very hard to control myself at work however. it takes so much effort to pretend to be cheerful all the time, when half the time i feel like punching someone, or throwing something, or worse :( even worse is i dont care if people think im a miserable cow anymore. i accept that im bitter and miserable and cynical and am unlikely to change.

why is it that when i lived in a student house wqith 2-3 other people, water bill was only £90 every 3 months?

if this is the correct price (this is what i have been charged for 4 years) then why am i suddenly getting charged over £200 for 3 months, in a 1 bedroom flat!!!! what the fuck!

hey interwebs!

i dont see much of the world at the minute. working more rediculous hours at work, plus decorating in between. my living room is sooooo close to being finished. im very happy with it. it looks so much better, and so modern!!!

at the min im feeling a bit shitty and depressed. which is one of the reasons im not venturing out much. i feel really miserable all the time, and having to put on the overly cheerfulness act at work is tiring.

im sick of working at sainsburys. got turned down for 3 more design jobs last week. its left me despairing. as much as i enjoyed uni, it was a complete waste of time and money.

im doing the same job i was when i was 16, and in much worse debt than i would be if id just stayed back in donny and done that for the rest of my life. so overall, ive learned that ambition gets you nowhere, and good things only lure you into a false sense of security.

what is possibly most depressing, is the fact that even working rediculous hours, i can only just afford to survive, and pay my current bills. i cant possibly pay off any of the debt i built up from being redundant. which is the most upsetting part of this whole situation. im working my ass off and getting deeper and deeper into trouble, and am finding it so difficult to face every day, but noone seems to understand. noone who could actually help me anyway. its ok for other people to say "just phone them", but its not as easy as that, cos when i do they guilt trip me and pressure me so much, i cant take it.

currently in the process of switching doctors, since i havent had any setraline for over a month now, due to me hating my current doctors so much that i avoid going.

in other matters, been going out with jim for 2 months on thursday :D:D all is going very well, although i dont know what ive done to deserve a guy as caring and sweet as he is. i keep waiting for it to all go wrong, since most men are obviously bastards.

all in all nothing else to report. thinking of getting davey a piggy friend now my living room is almost sorted and i can build the c+c again. know someone who runs a rescue in nottingham so am thinking of taking dave there to meet some piggys. ^^

stealaged from helen

1. Name (and what should I call you?):
2. Birthday:
3. Where do you live:
4: What are you studying/What are you working as:
5. What makes you happy:
6. What are you listening to now/have listened to last:
7. What is particularly good/bad about my LJ:
8. An interesting fact about you:
9. Are you in love/have a crush at the moment:
10. Favorite place to be:
11. Favorite lyric:
12. Best time of the year:
13. Weirdest food you like:

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
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4: A band:

FANDOM
1. Favorite Fandom:
2. OTP/OT3:
3. Icon/Fic Journal:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so I can tell you what I think of you?

hello world!

all is going well here atm. flat will be finished in the next few weeks which is super happy making!

today, me and jim went for tasty chinese after work. it was super tasty! but now im full and sleepy.

i also bought my first ever "proper" cook book today.

ive gotten more into cooking home made stuff, and want to learn more. ended up buying "gordon ramsey makes it easy". it has good recipes in it that arent rediculously complicated/use a tom of ingredients!

all going not too bad at the min, a few long torm worries still kicking about, and one major problem that will hopefully be sorted in the next few days :/

right im off to sainsburys, and homebase, then gonna have an epic sleeeeeeeep! XD

i have internet again!!!! yay!!!!! so ill do a general update :D flat is coming along well. my living room has no wall paper at the minute, but it now looks more like a living room now that my tv and pooter are set up :D i bought an epic rug from ikea which will look amazing in my living room once its finished! :D also finally have a fridge! so i can eat decent food again :D overall flat and awesome bf stuff are going really well :D shame about all the other crap thats going on and dragging me down :(

hello interwebs!

i havent died XD i get internet a week on wednesday! yay!

new flat is great! i love having my own place!

decorating is going very well, slowly but surely getting there. im also gradually aquiring bits of furniture! :D

this week im gonna buy a fridge, a washer, and go to ikea to buy furnishings :D

been epicly busy working stupid hours, but next week ive allocated myself a few days off :D have been working back at sainsburys for 9 weeks and in that time have had about 8 days off in total D:

also i have myself a lovely boyfriend :D:D:D

so am feeling pretty happy at the min :D

argh, why isnt head fuck getting easier!?

its just getting harder and more confusing D:

I MOVE INTO MY NEW FLAT TOMORROW!!!!

incase youb couldnt tell, im freaking excited.

finally, my own place. and i can decorate it how i want! and the landlord is paying for me to decorate! :D:D:D:D:D

finally something good happens